....and I am ready to go - in some sense of the meaning. Pandora's box opened up when I came home six weeks ago. Everyone in my immediate family moved. Some moved houses, others moved cross country. And, everyone is moving on in their own way. It was absolute chaos, and still kind of is.
The beautiful thing about chaos is that as we come to Christ He will order our hearts in Him and his gospel. Against the back drop of a chaotic life, we can see more clearly the simplicity and beauty of the gospel. As we search for Christ and hold fast to him, our Rock and Redeemer (Helaman 5:12) he will redeem us, and make us whole.
www.mormon.org
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Ready to Go
I have only a few days until I leave for a mission. I am ready to go. I'm sure when it comes down to it, I won't feel so much that way, but right now.... I just want to go.
There are so many emotional up and downs of waiting. BUT the best thing about any type of down is that it is another opportunity to draw closer to the Savior.
There are so many emotional up and downs of waiting. BUT the best thing about any type of down is that it is another opportunity to draw closer to the Savior.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Theories
Wal-Mart Theory
Wal-Mart has the business strategy of selling lower quality products for a lower price.
When a person goes to Wal-mart they go because they want a product now, for the lowest absolute price. They are okay if the product breaks, wears out quickly, or is substandard because "it's from Wal-mart, what do you expect". They got what they wanted, when they wanted it, and didn't need to work that hard to obtain it.
You go into Wal-mart to buy something because it's cheap. You know it's cheap, but you don't expect it to last for long. You pay less for it an it doesn't last you as long. Most people have become okay with this trade off.
BUT - I see this coming up in all faucets of life. This "wal-mart" mentality has spread to marriages, families, education, politics, careers, and society at large. People are okay with paying less for something that isn't as high quality. "Oh, if I don't like it, I can just get a new one." "Well, it was a bargain, how do I expect it to be quality."
Do you see how toxic that is to marriages, families, and all other social relationships? If you don't work for something, how do you expect it to last. People quit working at their marriages, cheat in school, and lower their standards at work so they can get ahead quickly. If things don't pan out as they hope, it's fine, there is always another spouse, school to get into, or job to get. It's no big deal, besides I didn't work that hard for the first one anyway.
...I hate Wal-Mart.
Facebook Theory
It's sad and disgusting when people start to think in terms of facebook statuses. It slowly robs people of privacy of thought, and cheapens our quality of thinking situations through with logical, detailed, methods. Rather, people impulsively updates their status to reflect the current thought running through their mind.
My theory on facebook is that like anything else, has potential for great good, and great harm. It's amazing to catch up with old friends and family. But once you start thinking in terms of what you want to post as your facebook status, you have issues. At that point you've given up conscious control of your thoughts and have allowed an outside source to influence your thoughts. How is a drug any different? An outside substance/source which influences and controls your conscious thoughts.
Just some food for thought.
Wal-Mart has the business strategy of selling lower quality products for a lower price.
When a person goes to Wal-mart they go because they want a product now, for the lowest absolute price. They are okay if the product breaks, wears out quickly, or is substandard because "it's from Wal-mart, what do you expect". They got what they wanted, when they wanted it, and didn't need to work that hard to obtain it.
You go into Wal-mart to buy something because it's cheap. You know it's cheap, but you don't expect it to last for long. You pay less for it an it doesn't last you as long. Most people have become okay with this trade off.
BUT - I see this coming up in all faucets of life. This "wal-mart" mentality has spread to marriages, families, education, politics, careers, and society at large. People are okay with paying less for something that isn't as high quality. "Oh, if I don't like it, I can just get a new one." "Well, it was a bargain, how do I expect it to be quality."
Do you see how toxic that is to marriages, families, and all other social relationships? If you don't work for something, how do you expect it to last. People quit working at their marriages, cheat in school, and lower their standards at work so they can get ahead quickly. If things don't pan out as they hope, it's fine, there is always another spouse, school to get into, or job to get. It's no big deal, besides I didn't work that hard for the first one anyway.
...I hate Wal-Mart.
Facebook Theory
It's sad and disgusting when people start to think in terms of facebook statuses. It slowly robs people of privacy of thought, and cheapens our quality of thinking situations through with logical, detailed, methods. Rather, people impulsively updates their status to reflect the current thought running through their mind.
My theory on facebook is that like anything else, has potential for great good, and great harm. It's amazing to catch up with old friends and family. But once you start thinking in terms of what you want to post as your facebook status, you have issues. At that point you've given up conscious control of your thoughts and have allowed an outside source to influence your thoughts. How is a drug any different? An outside substance/source which influences and controls your conscious thoughts.
Just some food for thought.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Chocolate Fudge Sauce Pudding Cake
I don't have much of a sweet tooth, nor do I particularly enjoy chocolate, but every now and then a dessert comes along that I fall in love with. Crème brûlée with raspberries is one of them, and this Chocolate Fudge Sauce Pudding Cake is another. A co-worker made this for me and my apartment when I was working in Florida. He made it in individual ramekins and it is such a rich cake I could hardly finish that. It's amazingly dense, so literally five bites with ice-cream is enough for one person.
Pictures and words don't do this dessert justice. I recommend you make it, or have someone else make it, and then just enjoy the chocolaty goodness that will make your mouth fall in love with your fudge covered fork even more.
mix:
1 cup flour
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp cocoa
stir in:
1/2 cup milk
2 tbsp melted butter
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
Spread in 9" square pan.
mix and sprinkle on top:
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup cocoa
pour over:
1-3/4 cups boiling water
Bake at 350 for 45 minutes. Let cool 15 minutes before serving.
Pictures and words don't do this dessert justice. I recommend you make it, or have someone else make it, and then just enjoy the chocolaty goodness that will make your mouth fall in love with your fudge covered fork even more.
mix:
1 cup flour
3/4 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp cocoa
stir in:
1/2 cup milk
2 tbsp melted butter
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
Spread in 9" square pan.
mix and sprinkle on top:
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup cocoa
pour over:
1-3/4 cups boiling water
Bake at 350 for 45 minutes. Let cool 15 minutes before serving.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
It's been a while.
Since I last wrote I've been to New York and have been helping a friend of mine clean, paint, and remodel her new house while simultaneously packing her old house and watching her two adorable boys! Staying busy has been such a phenomenal blessing.
I'm excited to start shopping for my mission. As it's getting closer to departure time I find myself more thrilled that I made the decision to go. The amount of encouragement has been a huge support and comfort. Just telling people what I'm doing and their positive response has helped me stay focused and practice missionary skills. Soon, I'll be able to do it in Spanish!
As for New York :) I went with Christina and her Aussie friend Natalie. We stayed in Jessica's former roommate's apartment. The girl was actually in DC for the weekend, so we had her room to ourselves. The trip included many highlights such as Phantom of the Opera, bartering in behalf of Natalie, seeing Time's Square, Fashion Row, getting the smile discount on a hilarious caricature, and having quality time with my cousin.
Life is good.
I'm excited to start shopping for my mission. As it's getting closer to departure time I find myself more thrilled that I made the decision to go. The amount of encouragement has been a huge support and comfort. Just telling people what I'm doing and their positive response has helped me stay focused and practice missionary skills. Soon, I'll be able to do it in Spanish!
As for New York :) I went with Christina and her Aussie friend Natalie. We stayed in Jessica's former roommate's apartment. The girl was actually in DC for the weekend, so we had her room to ourselves. The trip included many highlights such as Phantom of the Opera, bartering in behalf of Natalie, seeing Time's Square, Fashion Row, getting the smile discount on a hilarious caricature, and having quality time with my cousin.
Life is good.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Home for six more weeks
I'm home, and it feels great. Since I moved out after high school I haven't returned home for any long periods of time. So being home, and not having any extraordinarily pressing engagements, feels wonderful. I'm able to spend mornings exercising, reading 'Preach My Gospel', and putting my life in order so that I can successfully leave all personal affairs at home while I'm on a mission.
But here's the real story. Monday night our manager took everyone out to dinner because we had reached an office goal. As I was waiting for our food to arrive, I noticed both my managers sitting at the end of the table, talking with each other. Up until that point, I hadn't thought about how I was going to tell them I was leaving. Thus when I saw them sitting there, it was the perfect opportunity. I went over, sat down, and said, "I have bad news, I'm not coming back once I go home." One of my managers immediately said "I think that's a smart move." He then explained how right before his mission he spent time with his family and friends, and how that was one of the best things he could have done.
It felt SO GOOD! I felt like I was on cloud nine after I told them!!! It was such a confirmation that going home was the right option.
So I talked out some logistics with them, and then went back to my seat where dinner had arrived. Now our car arrived a little late, so we were behind the curve by about 40 minutes. We were just starting to eat when everyone else was starting to go home. Also, while we were eating, Ryan too the car to Wal-Mart to get groceries. So after dinner we had to wait for him for another half an hour. Thus, by the time we were starting to drive home - which was still a solid hour away - it was around 12:30am. Lovely.
As we were sitting in the parking lot, waiting for Ryan, I was reflecting on how great it felt to know that that was the last parking lot I would sit in as Pinnacle employee. I would never need to wear that ridiculous uniform again with clunky sneakers, ill fitting shorts, and hair that reeked of McDonald's. i would never need to deal with the Floridiots again!!!! I was going home. Pure euphoria.
When Ryan finally showed up, with half of Wal-Mart in the van, we pile in, pull onto the freeway, and head for home. I was full, I was happy, and I was leaving Florid. As we started to drive home I noticed that the car was starting to shimming in an odd sort of way, and thought to myself "I bet something is going to happen - I bet there is no way we can get home before 2am...." I ignored the odd shimmy and continued to happily reflect on the decisions I had made with life and where I was headed until...
BOOM!!!!
The van jerked to the left and back to the right as Brandon locked his arms on the steering wheel and slammed on the breaks. Simultaneously Kerry and Joy start screaming, Ryan starts swearing at the top of his lungs, Natalie jumps up from Ryan's lap, and I start laughing! OF COURSE!!! Of course something would happen!!!! The cacophony of voices continued until Brandon pulled the car over on the side of I-4 near DinoWorld and we all piled out into the grassy median to find a blown out front left tire. Kerry, Brandon, and Ryan all put their hands in the air in one form or another and cured the van. Natalie and Joy were still trying to figure out what was going on. And I continued to laugh.
We quickly found out that the hazard lights wouldn't turn on and neither would the car. The car wouldn't even turn over. So we sat on the guard rail while Brandon assumed responsibility and started calling people. I continued to laugh...of course something like this would happen.
Eventually a highway response vehicle came to help us, some coworkers came to pick us up, and the van got home (the battery had come disconnected when the van was jolting to and fro as we came to a thrashing halt).
Oh, the adventurous life of a summer sales rep. Next time I'm going to be a tech.
But here's the real story. Monday night our manager took everyone out to dinner because we had reached an office goal. As I was waiting for our food to arrive, I noticed both my managers sitting at the end of the table, talking with each other. Up until that point, I hadn't thought about how I was going to tell them I was leaving. Thus when I saw them sitting there, it was the perfect opportunity. I went over, sat down, and said, "I have bad news, I'm not coming back once I go home." One of my managers immediately said "I think that's a smart move." He then explained how right before his mission he spent time with his family and friends, and how that was one of the best things he could have done.
It felt SO GOOD! I felt like I was on cloud nine after I told them!!! It was such a confirmation that going home was the right option.
So I talked out some logistics with them, and then went back to my seat where dinner had arrived. Now our car arrived a little late, so we were behind the curve by about 40 minutes. We were just starting to eat when everyone else was starting to go home. Also, while we were eating, Ryan too the car to Wal-Mart to get groceries. So after dinner we had to wait for him for another half an hour. Thus, by the time we were starting to drive home - which was still a solid hour away - it was around 12:30am. Lovely.
As we were sitting in the parking lot, waiting for Ryan, I was reflecting on how great it felt to know that that was the last parking lot I would sit in as Pinnacle employee. I would never need to wear that ridiculous uniform again with clunky sneakers, ill fitting shorts, and hair that reeked of McDonald's. i would never need to deal with the Floridiots again!!!! I was going home. Pure euphoria.
When Ryan finally showed up, with half of Wal-Mart in the van, we pile in, pull onto the freeway, and head for home. I was full, I was happy, and I was leaving Florid. As we started to drive home I noticed that the car was starting to shimming in an odd sort of way, and thought to myself "I bet something is going to happen - I bet there is no way we can get home before 2am...." I ignored the odd shimmy and continued to happily reflect on the decisions I had made with life and where I was headed until...
BOOM!!!!
The van jerked to the left and back to the right as Brandon locked his arms on the steering wheel and slammed on the breaks. Simultaneously Kerry and Joy start screaming, Ryan starts swearing at the top of his lungs, Natalie jumps up from Ryan's lap, and I start laughing! OF COURSE!!! Of course something would happen!!!! The cacophony of voices continued until Brandon pulled the car over on the side of I-4 near DinoWorld and we all piled out into the grassy median to find a blown out front left tire. Kerry, Brandon, and Ryan all put their hands in the air in one form or another and cured the van. Natalie and Joy were still trying to figure out what was going on. And I continued to laugh.
We quickly found out that the hazard lights wouldn't turn on and neither would the car. The car wouldn't even turn over. So we sat on the guard rail while Brandon assumed responsibility and started calling people. I continued to laugh...of course something like this would happen.
Eventually a highway response vehicle came to help us, some coworkers came to pick us up, and the van got home (the battery had come disconnected when the van was jolting to and fro as we came to a thrashing halt).
Oh, the adventurous life of a summer sales rep. Next time I'm going to be a tech.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Moving
Dear Friends, Family, and other such cheerleaders,
I am moving back in with my dad until I go on my mission.
This has been an interesting experience for me. At the end of the semester I felt very strongly that I needed to come here to Florida, but was unsure why. As I've been down here I have had an incredibly hard time trying synthesis the different skills this job require. There have also been several other remarkably difficult thing about the work and living environment.
A few weeks back I considered quitting and going home. I wasn't doing as well as I had hoped, the whole office was struggling, there is no good stress outlet....etc, etc, etc. But I talked with a good friend who helped me sort through some thoughts and decisions. I concluded that I would stay here until the Lord showed me that my purpose here was fulfilled, rather than reinforcing the habit of quitting simply because I thought things were getting tough.
On Sunday, I had an experience that showed me and confirmed that my purpose here was fulfilled. It was like being liberated from the binding depths of the ocean and wrapped in a warm blanket on the sunny deck of a ship sailing on calm waters. I realized, with contagious joy, that I can go home without quitting - and that was a tender mercy from the Lord. When the idea of going home was tossed around before, I felt like I would be quitting, and now I feel like I'm progressing.
As has been the case before, once I fully commit to the will of the Lord, he makes a path through what I thought would be impossible. It usually isn't the path I would have imagined, but it always turns out fantastic.
Much love,
Susan
I am moving back in with my dad until I go on my mission.
This has been an interesting experience for me. At the end of the semester I felt very strongly that I needed to come here to Florida, but was unsure why. As I've been down here I have had an incredibly hard time trying synthesis the different skills this job require. There have also been several other remarkably difficult thing about the work and living environment.
A few weeks back I considered quitting and going home. I wasn't doing as well as I had hoped, the whole office was struggling, there is no good stress outlet....etc, etc, etc. But I talked with a good friend who helped me sort through some thoughts and decisions. I concluded that I would stay here until the Lord showed me that my purpose here was fulfilled, rather than reinforcing the habit of quitting simply because I thought things were getting tough.
On Sunday, I had an experience that showed me and confirmed that my purpose here was fulfilled. It was like being liberated from the binding depths of the ocean and wrapped in a warm blanket on the sunny deck of a ship sailing on calm waters. I realized, with contagious joy, that I can go home without quitting - and that was a tender mercy from the Lord. When the idea of going home was tossed around before, I felt like I would be quitting, and now I feel like I'm progressing.
As has been the case before, once I fully commit to the will of the Lord, he makes a path through what I thought would be impossible. It usually isn't the path I would have imagined, but it always turns out fantastic.
Much love,
Susan
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Oh wow.
I GOT ONE!!! I made a sale yesterday! It broke my bad streak! I had gone almost two and a half weeks with out making one sale, and I got one yesterday!!!! HURRAY!!
As for today...I can't wait to go home. I want to be in my dad's house, see my sister, and talk to the normal people of the Springfield ward. People here in Florida can be crazy, rude, and frustratingly dense. This job is doing an incredible job of teaching me compassion, patience, and skill synthesis.
I took a nap in a church parking lot today. Here in Florida some of the parking lots are grass fields. It's interesting.
Over all, it was one of my better days.
Happy 4th of July. I'm thankful for those who had a more noble cause to live for.
As for today...I can't wait to go home. I want to be in my dad's house, see my sister, and talk to the normal people of the Springfield ward. People here in Florida can be crazy, rude, and frustratingly dense. This job is doing an incredible job of teaching me compassion, patience, and skill synthesis.
I took a nap in a church parking lot today. Here in Florida some of the parking lots are grass fields. It's interesting.
Over all, it was one of my better days.
Happy 4th of July. I'm thankful for those who had a more noble cause to live for.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Dates, of several sorts
Dates. I went on one, I have a few set, and I have a few coming up.
I went on a date with a tech on our team. It is the first date I've ever been on with someone younger than myself. BUT it was actually quite enjoyable. We went to dinner and then watched a movie at my apartment. I was surprised at how much more mature he was than his other dating counterparts. He was also very gentle - which is a nice change from the rough-and-tough guys that I work with and atrocious environment that I work in. Also, he accepted my invite to come to church on Sunday.
I have a date set to go through the temple. I'm coming home on July 8th-13th and will be taking time to get a few things ordered. Today also marks two months before I enter the MTC!
Prayers would be very much appreciated.
The upcoming date is the temple. In one week I'll have the opportunity to enter the House of the Lord and make sacred covenants. For more info about the purpose of temples, click here.
For info about the message I will be sharing on my mission, click here.
It's an interesting time in life. A lot of good things are happening, and the future is bright. For those reading, please continue to pray for me. This job is hard, and dealing with myself is hard. I am thankful for a God who answers prayers and for a Savior who atoned for us and makes up the difference when we fall short.
Much love,
Future Hermana Denker!
I went on a date with a tech on our team. It is the first date I've ever been on with someone younger than myself. BUT it was actually quite enjoyable. We went to dinner and then watched a movie at my apartment. I was surprised at how much more mature he was than his other dating counterparts. He was also very gentle - which is a nice change from the rough-and-tough guys that I work with and atrocious environment that I work in. Also, he accepted my invite to come to church on Sunday.
I have a date set to go through the temple. I'm coming home on July 8th-13th and will be taking time to get a few things ordered. Today also marks two months before I enter the MTC!
Prayers would be very much appreciated.
The upcoming date is the temple. In one week I'll have the opportunity to enter the House of the Lord and make sacred covenants. For more info about the purpose of temples, click here.
For info about the message I will be sharing on my mission, click here.
It's an interesting time in life. A lot of good things are happening, and the future is bright. For those reading, please continue to pray for me. This job is hard, and dealing with myself is hard. I am thankful for a God who answers prayers and for a Savior who atoned for us and makes up the difference when we fall short.
Much love,
Future Hermana Denker!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
We can do Hard things.
Yesterday I talked with a dear friend and mentor who has been a huge help in my life. I wrote the following in my journal, and wanted to post it here for those wondering how I'm doing.
It also hit me, again, how we have such a powerful gift of agency. We choose the type of person we are, what we will and won't react to, and what we will and won't believe.
I believe that this will be one of the most memorable summers of my life!
xoxo - Susan
Life is all about making decisions and going for them. A bit of wisdom that I FINALLY articulated was that "success is something that assessed where you currently are. Being successful is assessed at the finish line.” Sometimes we may not know where the finish line is, so we may never feel success in our current station, but once we cross that finish line we can look back and thank our lucky stars that we kept going.
I am incredibly thankful for the hard things we do in life because during and after those hard things there are precious moments that we obtain bits of wisdom which open our eyes further than anything we could have previously hoped for. Those insights of wisdom are like flakes of gold and rough diamonds which we can continue to work with the remainder of life to form the most striking decorations to add to brilliant life crafted by our Heavenly Father.
It also hit me, again, how we have such a powerful gift of agency. We choose the type of person we are, what we will and won't react to, and what we will and won't believe.
I believe that this will be one of the most memorable summers of my life!
xoxo - Susan
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
A marked man
Today I marked Brian Decker as my silent competitor. I can keep pace with him – and I will. He’s beating me by only one sale right now, and that won’t be the case for long.
I called into Jean around 5:30 and asked if he had made a sale. Her affirmative answer was enough of a spark to get me going, so I went and got one. It was great.
I also bought two new swim suits tonight. A cute green two-piece and a fun red one-piece. I really needed a one piece for laps and when I swim with the guys....Oh those guys. I just feel better about being around them if I'm not prancing around in a bikini. But the green bikini is super cute and fits much better than I was expecting it to when I initially looked at it.
The joys of summer sales.
I called into Jean around 5:30 and asked if he had made a sale. Her affirmative answer was enough of a spark to get me going, so I went and got one. It was great.
I also bought two new swim suits tonight. A cute green two-piece and a fun red one-piece. I really needed a one piece for laps and when I swim with the guys....Oh those guys. I just feel better about being around them if I'm not prancing around in a bikini. But the green bikini is super cute and fits much better than I was expecting it to when I initially looked at it.
The joys of summer sales.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
bulletproof
Today was a refiners fire. This whole experience is a refiners fire - well sauna really. Florida is horrid. It is humid, dirty, smokey, and just gross.
Wow - after I said that I realized how negative that come across. The days here are an emotional blood bath. The knocking part of my day ended with me sitting in a roach infested van with no license plates, no AC, and no gas... sobbing my eyes out.
Zac bought a work van which turned out to be infested with roaches. I think a crack dealer owned the car... Any way, the car was also not licensed, which I found out when I met Officer Bruno. I had parked the car on a street I was knocking. Thankfully I knocked into a lady who asked me if that was my car.
"Well, kind of. It's a work van that we just bought." I said.
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry, I just called the cops about it. You'd better take off because they're on the way."
GREAT. JUST PERFECT! OH FOR THE LOVE.
I actually knew I would get off just fine, being little, blonde, and from out of state reeeeeally helps. So rather than run from the cops and get myself in more trouble I waited. Once Officer Bruno showed up, I explained the situation, called my manager, got him on the phone and said "Here, you talk to him". Thankfully the cop was extraordinarily polite and nice. He advised that my manager, the van's legal owner, drive the car home. I strongly agreed, and asked the officer if he'd follow me to a local bank so I could park in their parking lot. He happily did, and then advised me to get out of my area well before dark. Everyone does. Apparently Florida has the highest population of young, single men, who are drugged, armed, and highly dangerous.
So after my encounter with the cop I dragged myself from door to door. At one door this little old lady had just rescued a dog and was trying to get him inside, so I helped her out with that and set an appointment to come back tomorrow. We'll see.
Then, around eight, I knocked on a door and started talking only to have the rudest wife in the entire world say "Do you know what time it is!?"
"Yes, around eight..."
"Who do you work for!?"
"General Electric."
"I can't believe you're out here trying to sell something so late."
I think at that point I just started to walk away, but I remember her saying "I want your card!" as I was walking back through her yard, towards the street.
"I don't have cards."
"I'm going to call and complain. It's ridiculous that you're out so late!"
"Don't worry, I won't be back."
That's when I went to car and sobbed, asked Zac how I was going to get home, and sobbed some more. When I told Kerry, Mike, and Brandon via text that we were going to wait until Zac could switch us cars around 10, Kerry called me. I just cried when he asked how my day was. I explained the whole cop situation, how I didn't want to drive, but how I didn't want to stay either. He made some calls, Brandon came to pick me up and he risked picking everyone up and driving home in roach-mobile.
When Kerry was talking to me on the phone, doing what all guys do when girls cry (try to get us laughing and calmed down) he said, "You know, this may suck now, but think about when you're on your mission. You'll be freaking bullet-proof."
Yes, with the armor of God and really thick skin from this job.
Wow - after I said that I realized how negative that come across. The days here are an emotional blood bath. The knocking part of my day ended with me sitting in a roach infested van with no license plates, no AC, and no gas... sobbing my eyes out.
Zac bought a work van which turned out to be infested with roaches. I think a crack dealer owned the car... Any way, the car was also not licensed, which I found out when I met Officer Bruno. I had parked the car on a street I was knocking. Thankfully I knocked into a lady who asked me if that was my car.
"Well, kind of. It's a work van that we just bought." I said.
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry, I just called the cops about it. You'd better take off because they're on the way."
GREAT. JUST PERFECT! OH FOR THE LOVE.
I actually knew I would get off just fine, being little, blonde, and from out of state reeeeeally helps. So rather than run from the cops and get myself in more trouble I waited. Once Officer Bruno showed up, I explained the situation, called my manager, got him on the phone and said "Here, you talk to him". Thankfully the cop was extraordinarily polite and nice. He advised that my manager, the van's legal owner, drive the car home. I strongly agreed, and asked the officer if he'd follow me to a local bank so I could park in their parking lot. He happily did, and then advised me to get out of my area well before dark. Everyone does. Apparently Florida has the highest population of young, single men, who are drugged, armed, and highly dangerous.
So after my encounter with the cop I dragged myself from door to door. At one door this little old lady had just rescued a dog and was trying to get him inside, so I helped her out with that and set an appointment to come back tomorrow. We'll see.
Then, around eight, I knocked on a door and started talking only to have the rudest wife in the entire world say "Do you know what time it is!?"
"Yes, around eight..."
"Who do you work for!?"
"General Electric."
"I can't believe you're out here trying to sell something so late."
I think at that point I just started to walk away, but I remember her saying "I want your card!" as I was walking back through her yard, towards the street.
"I don't have cards."
"I'm going to call and complain. It's ridiculous that you're out so late!"
"Don't worry, I won't be back."
That's when I went to car and sobbed, asked Zac how I was going to get home, and sobbed some more. When I told Kerry, Mike, and Brandon via text that we were going to wait until Zac could switch us cars around 10, Kerry called me. I just cried when he asked how my day was. I explained the whole cop situation, how I didn't want to drive, but how I didn't want to stay either. He made some calls, Brandon came to pick me up and he risked picking everyone up and driving home in roach-mobile.
When Kerry was talking to me on the phone, doing what all guys do when girls cry (try to get us laughing and calmed down) he said, "You know, this may suck now, but think about when you're on your mission. You'll be freaking bullet-proof."
Yes, with the armor of God and really thick skin from this job.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Dark Chocolate
Today, when I was in SevenEleven buying a slurpy (gross, I know) I placed my drink on the checkout counter and smiled at the girl. For one reason or another she asked if I liked dark chocolate. I answered that I did, and she replied, "Well, you should try the new dark chocolate Resses Peanut-butter Cups. Like right now, they're that good." I chuckled and told her I wasn't in a chocolate mood, but I'd try them another time. She paused, and then asked how old I was. I responded that I was 21, and inwardly thought "why the heck is she asking me that?" She proceeded to explain that she wanted to get me drunk one day and then get me to try them. Interesting, I thought. I laughed and said, "well, I don't drink, so good luck with that one." She shifted her weight, and put one hand on her hip, the other on the counter, looked at me and said, "You're a Christian, aren't you?"
"Yup. I most certainly am."
"Yea, you give off that Christian vibe."
"Really, How could you tell?" I was genuinely curious at this point. I know a lot of non-Christians who don't drink. Plus, most people don't bring up religion in public.
"You just have that Christ type aura about you."
"Wow, well thanks." I felt honored that she could still see that in me - I had been having a pretty rocky day.
"So tell me," she continued with sincerity, "Why are you a Christian? I want the honest, real reason."
I was a little surprised, but she asked with just such a real desire to know, that I told her about how when I was seventeen, my older sister committed suicide. I explained how that provoked me to search for answers to questions such as 'why are we here?' 'will I ever see Ellen again?' 'How can a loving God let something like this happen?' 'What happens when we die?'
I told her about how one night I just started asking God for answers, and explained to him that if he didn't answer me, I'd go do my own thing. At this point in the conversation I remember looking down at the counter as I was recalling those events and where I was when I had such pointed feelings. I felt prompted to look up and look into her eyes. So I looked up, looked into her eyes, and testified. I was able to testify about how God is our loving Heavenly Father, about how Jesus is the Christ, and about how even though terrible things happen in life, God still loves us and will never take away or hinder our ability to choose.
It was amazing to feel the Spirit confirm those wonderful truths and have such a wonderful opportunity to testify of God and his son, Jesus Christ. All in a SevenElven, and because of dark chocolate!!!
Now about my 'work day': I could hardly get out of the car. In fact, Spencer and I sat in the car most of the day. Zac would kill us if he knew - but I couldn't handle it emotionally. It was rough. When I got home I went swimming with Jean and Jan. Some of the office boy joined us and I won every race we did. I believe a large part of why I won is because I knew that I could. I knew that I had the physical ability to beat every swimmer there because I had previously put in the physical preparation. I also thrive off the grudgingly given respect that comes from doing something better than boys. Once a girl can prove she can hold her own in one area, guys usually aren't as chauvinistically dominating in other area's, such as work.
So I'd call today a success.
"Yup. I most certainly am."
"Yea, you give off that Christian vibe."
"Really, How could you tell?" I was genuinely curious at this point. I know a lot of non-Christians who don't drink. Plus, most people don't bring up religion in public.
"You just have that Christ type aura about you."
"Wow, well thanks." I felt honored that she could still see that in me - I had been having a pretty rocky day.
"So tell me," she continued with sincerity, "Why are you a Christian? I want the honest, real reason."
I was a little surprised, but she asked with just such a real desire to know, that I told her about how when I was seventeen, my older sister committed suicide. I explained how that provoked me to search for answers to questions such as 'why are we here?' 'will I ever see Ellen again?' 'How can a loving God let something like this happen?' 'What happens when we die?'
I told her about how one night I just started asking God for answers, and explained to him that if he didn't answer me, I'd go do my own thing. At this point in the conversation I remember looking down at the counter as I was recalling those events and where I was when I had such pointed feelings. I felt prompted to look up and look into her eyes. So I looked up, looked into her eyes, and testified. I was able to testify about how God is our loving Heavenly Father, about how Jesus is the Christ, and about how even though terrible things happen in life, God still loves us and will never take away or hinder our ability to choose.
It was amazing to feel the Spirit confirm those wonderful truths and have such a wonderful opportunity to testify of God and his son, Jesus Christ. All in a SevenElven, and because of dark chocolate!!!
Now about my 'work day': I could hardly get out of the car. In fact, Spencer and I sat in the car most of the day. Zac would kill us if he knew - but I couldn't handle it emotionally. It was rough. When I got home I went swimming with Jean and Jan. Some of the office boy joined us and I won every race we did. I believe a large part of why I won is because I knew that I could. I knew that I had the physical ability to beat every swimmer there because I had previously put in the physical preparation. I also thrive off the grudgingly given respect that comes from doing something better than boys. Once a girl can prove she can hold her own in one area, guys usually aren't as chauvinistically dominating in other area's, such as work.
So I'd call today a success.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Planting a Garden
I wanted to write down a few things I thought about this morning as I was studying scriptures and planting my garden.
First – it is essential to plant a garden every morning. It is what I will sow. This morning I planted seeds of success and multiple sales. As I was studying scriptures I saw the when Christ appeared unto the Nephites they were filled with desire. Desire. That is huge. Once I am filled with desire, nothing can get in my way of success.
On a related note, I was thinking about yesterday, and how Mr. Salzman offered me a root beer. I had chatted with him and his wife the day before, and then yesterday they invited me in for a drink and break from the beating sun. They were extraordinarily sweet and gracious. He made a comment about how he liked my caliber and that’s why he was being so accommodating. I thought about that a lot as I went through the rest of the day, and part of this morning. I don’t think I’ve ever had a hard time getting people to like me – and it’s a gift.
In this job so far I’ve been able to get advice from Zig Ziggler’s former business partner, show a retired residential developer the benefits of a security system, and get Mr. Salzman and his wife to like me enough to invite me into their home.
I attribute much of my success to my dad and his practical counsel, and Heavenly Father for his unfailing confidence and support – directly and indirectly.
To bring it full circle, I see daily the tangible fruit of planting positive thought seeds in one’s mental garden. “As a man thinketh, so is he”
First – it is essential to plant a garden every morning. It is what I will sow. This morning I planted seeds of success and multiple sales. As I was studying scriptures I saw the when Christ appeared unto the Nephites they were filled with desire. Desire. That is huge. Once I am filled with desire, nothing can get in my way of success.
On a related note, I was thinking about yesterday, and how Mr. Salzman offered me a root beer. I had chatted with him and his wife the day before, and then yesterday they invited me in for a drink and break from the beating sun. They were extraordinarily sweet and gracious. He made a comment about how he liked my caliber and that’s why he was being so accommodating. I thought about that a lot as I went through the rest of the day, and part of this morning. I don’t think I’ve ever had a hard time getting people to like me – and it’s a gift.
In this job so far I’ve been able to get advice from Zig Ziggler’s former business partner, show a retired residential developer the benefits of a security system, and get Mr. Salzman and his wife to like me enough to invite me into their home.
I attribute much of my success to my dad and his practical counsel, and Heavenly Father for his unfailing confidence and support – directly and indirectly.
To bring it full circle, I see daily the tangible fruit of planting positive thought seeds in one’s mental garden. “As a man thinketh, so is he”
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
I love bad days.
Today started out with my crying in front of my assistant manager, feeling tangible discouragement, and feeling so sick that I almost considered not getting out of the car.
BUT
I would never own up to that in front of my co-workers. I consoled myself with the fact that if I needed to, I could go cry in the back yard of an abandoned house. After a while I realized that everyday that starts out horrible, has to end up good. AND IT DOES!
I made the first sale of the day for our office and then I used the rest of the day trying to get a second account. I was super close to closing one at the very end of the day, but it was a younger couple, and they just couldn't commit to paying something monthly. I think even my manager would have had a hard time closing them, which gives me comfort.
Over all I'm doing better than my managers expected. Doing one a day consistently is good, but I hope to be doing much better soon. I know that mid summer I'll be rocking the charts....
The other day Jan, our office manager, made a side comment about how I was climbing the charts. It was SOOO rewarding to hear her say that. Genuine, positive encouragement from your superiors is like endorphins to the brain. And considering this job is largely mental, it feels SOOOOO good.
Every bad day ends up good. Good days end up great. It's wonderful how you can be doing well, and still improve. I'm ready for another one tomorrow.
BUT
I would never own up to that in front of my co-workers. I consoled myself with the fact that if I needed to, I could go cry in the back yard of an abandoned house. After a while I realized that everyday that starts out horrible, has to end up good. AND IT DOES!
I made the first sale of the day for our office and then I used the rest of the day trying to get a second account. I was super close to closing one at the very end of the day, but it was a younger couple, and they just couldn't commit to paying something monthly. I think even my manager would have had a hard time closing them, which gives me comfort.
Over all I'm doing better than my managers expected. Doing one a day consistently is good, but I hope to be doing much better soon. I know that mid summer I'll be rocking the charts....
The other day Jan, our office manager, made a side comment about how I was climbing the charts. It was SOOO rewarding to hear her say that. Genuine, positive encouragement from your superiors is like endorphins to the brain. And considering this job is largely mental, it feels SOOOOO good.
Every bad day ends up good. Good days end up great. It's wonderful how you can be doing well, and still improve. I'm ready for another one tomorrow.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
California Carlsbad Mission
Dear Family and Friends,
As I prepare to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have been asked a variety of questions regarding the scope and nature of a mission. To answer questions and keep everyone included, I've decided to post some basic information about the scope and nature of missionary work.
The role of a missionary is to "invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end." In essence, I become a representative of Jesus Christ and His church. During service, I am expected to maintain high standards of conduct and appearance so that nothing I do will detract from the message of the Restored Gospel.
Timeline
Now - 2 September 2009 - Preparation
- Continue to study The Book of Mormon and "Preach My Gospel", a study guide published by the church to help missionaries learn the basic doctrines, ordinances, and principles, and practices of the church.
- Make covenants with the Lord in one of his Temples.
- Work so I can pay student loans and pay for a mission.
- Observe the hand of God in my life as he continues to bless me and my family for the sacrifices made that will enable to me to serve a mission.
2 September 2009 - Mid November 2009 - Missionary Training Center (MTC)
The MTC is located in Provo, Utah. Upon arrival there is a brief orrientation, room and companion assignments are given, and 9 weeks of trainning begins. During trainning, missionaries recieve classroom type instruction on becoming an effective missionary, including weekly devotionals, language/culture training, and continued gospel instruction.
Check out a virtual tour and more info at http://www.mtc.byu.edu/themtc.htm
November 2009 - February 2011 - Californial Carlsbad Mission
After I finish training in the MTC I will fly with my companion to the California Carlsbad Mission, to be greeted by President Brady - the current mission president, who is simlar to a bishop. Each mission is a designated geographical area, established by church leaders. Within each mission there are different Districs, Zones, and Areas. One set of missionaries is assigned to each area.
My duties there will include: serving the people, teaching those interested in the church, and inviting people to be baptized and become a member of the Chruch of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
February 2011 - HOME
After serving an honorable mission I am released from service and will resume my education, social life, and personal endevors.
Random Stuff:
During my time in the MTC and Mission Field I am required to stay with a companion at all times, dress in church clothes (except a preparation day), and follow the coucel and advice of my leaders. Generally speaking, missionaries set aside all personal affiars once they begain service. Thus we do not leave service to attend marriages, funerals, or the like.
More is to come....!
As I prepare to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have been asked a variety of questions regarding the scope and nature of a mission. To answer questions and keep everyone included, I've decided to post some basic information about the scope and nature of missionary work.
The role of a missionary is to "invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end." In essence, I become a representative of Jesus Christ and His church. During service, I am expected to maintain high standards of conduct and appearance so that nothing I do will detract from the message of the Restored Gospel.
Timeline
Now - 2 September 2009 - Preparation
- Continue to study The Book of Mormon and "Preach My Gospel", a study guide published by the church to help missionaries learn the basic doctrines, ordinances, and principles, and practices of the church.
- Make covenants with the Lord in one of his Temples.
- Work so I can pay student loans and pay for a mission.
- Observe the hand of God in my life as he continues to bless me and my family for the sacrifices made that will enable to me to serve a mission.
2 September 2009 - Mid November 2009 - Missionary Training Center (MTC)
The MTC is located in Provo, Utah. Upon arrival there is a brief orrientation, room and companion assignments are given, and 9 weeks of trainning begins. During trainning, missionaries recieve classroom type instruction on becoming an effective missionary, including weekly devotionals, language/culture training, and continued gospel instruction.
Check out a virtual tour and more info at http://www.mtc.byu.edu/themtc.htm
November 2009 - February 2011 - Californial Carlsbad Mission
After I finish training in the MTC I will fly with my companion to the California Carlsbad Mission, to be greeted by President Brady - the current mission president, who is simlar to a bishop. Each mission is a designated geographical area, established by church leaders. Within each mission there are different Districs, Zones, and Areas. One set of missionaries is assigned to each area.
My duties there will include: serving the people, teaching those interested in the church, and inviting people to be baptized and become a member of the Chruch of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
February 2011 - HOME
After serving an honorable mission I am released from service and will resume my education, social life, and personal endevors.
Random Stuff:
During my time in the MTC and Mission Field I am required to stay with a companion at all times, dress in church clothes (except a preparation day), and follow the coucel and advice of my leaders. Generally speaking, missionaries set aside all personal affiars once they begain service. Thus we do not leave service to attend marriages, funerals, or the like.
More is to come....!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Saturday, 6 June 2009
I made one sale today to a military couple. They were broken into a week ago. I walked in, talked up the cool tech gadgets to the husband, signed the paperwork, and left. Bravo.
The more pressing thoughts of my mind are the social life here. Like I mentioned in a previous post, it is inherent in the male nature to compete - to win. It doesn't matter if it's a toothpick or two thousand dollars - if there is competition involved they will fight till the end. In this case, I'm involved. And it sucks.
Good night.
The more pressing thoughts of my mind are the social life here. Like I mentioned in a previous post, it is inherent in the male nature to compete - to win. It doesn't matter if it's a toothpick or two thousand dollars - if there is competition involved they will fight till the end. In this case, I'm involved. And it sucks.
Good night.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Driving Fire
Today was good. I saw, first hand, that when there is fire in someones eyes, get out of the way - because something is going to happen. Yesterday and this morning I took some time to light the fire and today I would not quit. I told myself I would set my plan into action immediately. I did, and I saw results.
I find that I relate really well to older men who need medical pendents. My last three sales have all been because the person wanted medical pendents; two guys and a gal. Wonderful. I'm able to bank a bunch of points with these people, and they're remarkably happy with what they get. Over all it's a win-win situation.
Going through a sale is one of the most interesting thing. Sometimes, people who have been thinking about it for a while will feel it's a big decision, and won't make it on the spur of the moment. Others grasp quickly how it will help them and hand me a $99 activation fee plus a voided check.
But the most interesting part is concisely thinking "I'm in the attention phase... Wow, I just made the transition flawlessly... Great, Susan, start the close....This is solid. GO."
This job is like learning to drive a stick shift car. Before you even hop in the car, you can see yourself cruising with your friends, windows down, music and laughter harmonizing with the purr of the engine as you maneuver the pavement. Then you get in, buckle down, and have your co-pilot start telling you how to do things. He says it's like learning to dance, but you feel like it's learning to swim. He says tilt the mirrors one way, but you feel like you see better if they're tilted another. Finally after two hours of stop, starts, stalls, and bawling, the co-pilot gets out to leave you to your own devices.
Armed with the theoretical knowledge the instructor has given you about when to let the clutch out as you press the accelerator and when to move the gear from first to second, you attempt to drive. There is more stopping, starting, stalling, and bawling. But finally, you actually navigate the car - in first gear - for more than fifty feet. It's clicked. You can drive the car AND keep it from stalling. Then you shift into second gear with great effort. Left foot down, move right arm, move right arm again to put gear in second, not forth, start to lift left foot, press down with right foot - oops - not that much, put gear back in second gear, and ease on accelerator. BOOM. You're in second gear before you know it. Then all the sudden you're in third! What Joy! But then you STALL!!!! OH FOR THE LOVE!!!
Do you slam on the breaks, throw off the seat belt, and alight from the car!? NO. You laugh about it, take a deep breath, and punch the clutch down so you can turn the car on again. When you get going again you're better than you were before you stalled. So when you finally shift into third gear for the first time you think 'Wow, I'm here. I can get the car moving forward AND navigate at the same time. This is wonderful!'
That is how it feels going through a sale. When you find yourself shifting into third for the first time, you're very much aware of your actions. But as time goes on, you become a lean, mean, shifting machine and will cruise through gears while cruising through town. But even when you come to traffic, hills, tight back roads, or inclement weather, deciding what gear to be in will take conscious thought. It's rewarding though - knowing that I know how to do it. I know how to read people, judge what they'll do, and help them get where we need to be.
Also, on a different note, I made my first payment on my student loan. I never knew paying a bill would feel SO good.
I find that I relate really well to older men who need medical pendents. My last three sales have all been because the person wanted medical pendents; two guys and a gal. Wonderful. I'm able to bank a bunch of points with these people, and they're remarkably happy with what they get. Over all it's a win-win situation.
Going through a sale is one of the most interesting thing. Sometimes, people who have been thinking about it for a while will feel it's a big decision, and won't make it on the spur of the moment. Others grasp quickly how it will help them and hand me a $99 activation fee plus a voided check.
But the most interesting part is concisely thinking "I'm in the attention phase... Wow, I just made the transition flawlessly... Great, Susan, start the close....This is solid. GO."
This job is like learning to drive a stick shift car. Before you even hop in the car, you can see yourself cruising with your friends, windows down, music and laughter harmonizing with the purr of the engine as you maneuver the pavement. Then you get in, buckle down, and have your co-pilot start telling you how to do things. He says it's like learning to dance, but you feel like it's learning to swim. He says tilt the mirrors one way, but you feel like you see better if they're tilted another. Finally after two hours of stop, starts, stalls, and bawling, the co-pilot gets out to leave you to your own devices.
Armed with the theoretical knowledge the instructor has given you about when to let the clutch out as you press the accelerator and when to move the gear from first to second, you attempt to drive. There is more stopping, starting, stalling, and bawling. But finally, you actually navigate the car - in first gear - for more than fifty feet. It's clicked. You can drive the car AND keep it from stalling. Then you shift into second gear with great effort. Left foot down, move right arm, move right arm again to put gear in second, not forth, start to lift left foot, press down with right foot - oops - not that much, put gear back in second gear, and ease on accelerator. BOOM. You're in second gear before you know it. Then all the sudden you're in third! What Joy! But then you STALL!!!! OH FOR THE LOVE!!!
Do you slam on the breaks, throw off the seat belt, and alight from the car!? NO. You laugh about it, take a deep breath, and punch the clutch down so you can turn the car on again. When you get going again you're better than you were before you stalled. So when you finally shift into third gear for the first time you think 'Wow, I'm here. I can get the car moving forward AND navigate at the same time. This is wonderful!'
That is how it feels going through a sale. When you find yourself shifting into third for the first time, you're very much aware of your actions. But as time goes on, you become a lean, mean, shifting machine and will cruise through gears while cruising through town. But even when you come to traffic, hills, tight back roads, or inclement weather, deciding what gear to be in will take conscious thought. It's rewarding though - knowing that I know how to do it. I know how to read people, judge what they'll do, and help them get where we need to be.
Also, on a different note, I made my first payment on my student loan. I never knew paying a bill would feel SO good.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Magnificent Mangers
I have some of the best managers.
The physical demands of this job has taken a huge toll. We walk around in the tropical Florida weather, knocking doors for 7 hours a day and commute for about 2 hours a day, six days a week. Initially I thought it wouldn't be too bad. But when I added that plus my efforts to live a missionary style life, inclusive of early morning workout, and scripture study, PLUS elective work training, it just got to be too much.
I started to get sick last week, and by the mercy of heaven evaded a full fledged mono symptom up-flair. But it was close. I spent a few days pretty heavily medicated and sleeping in till the last possible moment.
I talked with one of my managers tonight and told him about how I just can't hack working the full six days and asked if I could be bumped down to five. Once I explained that I'd be more effective that way, and be able to better prepare for a mission, he was totally okay with it. I was worried I'd be labeled as a quitter or slacker - which is why I hesitated bringing it up before now. He was totally okay with it, and will talk to the lead manager. So hopefully we'll work something out.
Another stress point of the job is the social dynamics created by some of the guy's naturally competitive natures. I started to cry when I talked to dad about it today. The guys aren't being jerks, they're just being guys and not using their brains to think. Surprise Surprise.
If I felt like they were interested in me, Susan, I might be flattered. But instead I feel like because I have an X chromosome instead of a Y, they compete just to see who can 'win'. It's pretty much disgusting.
It feels good to have taken a day off to step back from everything, reevaluate where the summer is going and what I'm doing. I'm not sure what the end looks like -- but I know it will be great.
The physical demands of this job has taken a huge toll. We walk around in the tropical Florida weather, knocking doors for 7 hours a day and commute for about 2 hours a day, six days a week. Initially I thought it wouldn't be too bad. But when I added that plus my efforts to live a missionary style life, inclusive of early morning workout, and scripture study, PLUS elective work training, it just got to be too much.
I started to get sick last week, and by the mercy of heaven evaded a full fledged mono symptom up-flair. But it was close. I spent a few days pretty heavily medicated and sleeping in till the last possible moment.
I talked with one of my managers tonight and told him about how I just can't hack working the full six days and asked if I could be bumped down to five. Once I explained that I'd be more effective that way, and be able to better prepare for a mission, he was totally okay with it. I was worried I'd be labeled as a quitter or slacker - which is why I hesitated bringing it up before now. He was totally okay with it, and will talk to the lead manager. So hopefully we'll work something out.
Another stress point of the job is the social dynamics created by some of the guy's naturally competitive natures. I started to cry when I talked to dad about it today. The guys aren't being jerks, they're just being guys and not using their brains to think. Surprise Surprise.
If I felt like they were interested in me, Susan, I might be flattered. But instead I feel like because I have an X chromosome instead of a Y, they compete just to see who can 'win'. It's pretty much disgusting.
It feels good to have taken a day off to step back from everything, reevaluate where the summer is going and what I'm doing. I'm not sure what the end looks like -- but I know it will be great.
Black and White
Yesterday at work was horrible!!! I spent almost two hours explaining the system and setting up this guy and our techs. About twenty minutes after I leave the house with the techs there to do their thing, I see them driving up behind me. Apparently they were cussed out of the house by the girlfriend who showed up mid-installation.
Shortly after they drive away I received an irate voice mail from the above mentioned girlfriend. Talk about ticked. Instead of calling her back, I opted to go back by the house to see if I could salvage anything. Nope. I received the same treatment the techs did, but in the more biting way that only girls can be mean to girls. I would have preferred her to yell at me actually....
The worst part about the whole situation was that the guy actually needed it. I believe he really did need a medical pendant that comes with the system. I tried explaining this to the girlfriend, but I think she was beyond reason.
Regardless of the train wreck that was, I kept knocking. The thing that really killed my day was running into a Realtor who told me the details of the neighborhood - including a high registered sex offenders count and a supersaturated foreclosure rate. Plus - I could tell I was starting to get sick with mono-like symptoms.
On the drive home I started thinking about what I was doing, the reasons I was out here, and why I should stay. I texted my managers and told them I needed to talk with them about my goals, some concerns I have, and the possibility of going home. The thing that is the hardest right now is that at one point I was being successful, but now I'm not.
I finally talked with my manager and expressed some of my concerns. Because I knew he didn't want girls on the team, I was hesitet to even say anything, but finally realized that if he wants to see results, he needs to help me, and I need to ask for that help -- he can't read minds. Even still, it's been hard to work under the unspoken feeling of not being wanted on the team.
Long story short, I found out what he's expecting of me. I told him I was taking a flex day to think things over, reevaluate my goals, and get some sleep. ..... So that was the Black.
Today was the White. I've taken time to sleep, think, deeply read my scriptures, and more sincerely pray. The latter two I've been doing daily, but not as heartfelt as I would like. I also took time to meditate about and sift through the different stresses this job presents, and evaluated different solutions. I was able to pray for guidance, talk it over with my dad, and make some decisions that I feel really good about.
The major stresses include long hours of physically demanding work, an absurd social environment, being currently unsuccessful, and an inability to handle stress appropriately. Once I get the approval from my manager to enact some of my solutions to these I'll post about them in a little more detail.
Shortly after they drive away I received an irate voice mail from the above mentioned girlfriend. Talk about ticked. Instead of calling her back, I opted to go back by the house to see if I could salvage anything. Nope. I received the same treatment the techs did, but in the more biting way that only girls can be mean to girls. I would have preferred her to yell at me actually....
The worst part about the whole situation was that the guy actually needed it. I believe he really did need a medical pendant that comes with the system. I tried explaining this to the girlfriend, but I think she was beyond reason.
Regardless of the train wreck that was, I kept knocking. The thing that really killed my day was running into a Realtor who told me the details of the neighborhood - including a high registered sex offenders count and a supersaturated foreclosure rate. Plus - I could tell I was starting to get sick with mono-like symptoms.
On the drive home I started thinking about what I was doing, the reasons I was out here, and why I should stay. I texted my managers and told them I needed to talk with them about my goals, some concerns I have, and the possibility of going home. The thing that is the hardest right now is that at one point I was being successful, but now I'm not.
I finally talked with my manager and expressed some of my concerns. Because I knew he didn't want girls on the team, I was hesitet to even say anything, but finally realized that if he wants to see results, he needs to help me, and I need to ask for that help -- he can't read minds. Even still, it's been hard to work under the unspoken feeling of not being wanted on the team.
Long story short, I found out what he's expecting of me. I told him I was taking a flex day to think things over, reevaluate my goals, and get some sleep. ..... So that was the Black.
Today was the White. I've taken time to sleep, think, deeply read my scriptures, and more sincerely pray. The latter two I've been doing daily, but not as heartfelt as I would like. I also took time to meditate about and sift through the different stresses this job presents, and evaluated different solutions. I was able to pray for guidance, talk it over with my dad, and make some decisions that I feel really good about.
The major stresses include long hours of physically demanding work, an absurd social environment, being currently unsuccessful, and an inability to handle stress appropriately. Once I get the approval from my manager to enact some of my solutions to these I'll post about them in a little more detail.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Reality TV Show: Pinnacle Posse Take 1
I woke up fully motivated. I prayed, went running, and then instead of doing what I normally do - sit around in my work out clothes while I study scriptures and eat breakfast - I decided to shower before I started my studies.
After enjoying a warm shower and a pancake breakfast I sat at the table and started studying from the Book of Mormon. About 30 minutes into Helaman I feel my phone vibrate. Odd, I thought, no one ever calls me this early, it's only 10:15. I look to see that my manager, Chad, is calling. A very small 'uh oh' passed through my mind as I flipped open the phone. Another small thought of "don't forget, you sold yourself to you job right now" ran through my mind as I offered a puzzeled hello to my breathless manager.
"Susan! I'm so totally sorry about this, but it's really important. We have mandatory trainning that we were suppose to be at this morning at 8. I know it's totally last minute, but we've gotta be there. Like I said, I know it's unexpected, but we've gotta be there. I know it's last minute but can you be at the office in like 15 minutes? We need to leave ASAP. Also, can you wake Natalie up? I couldn't get a hold of her."
"Yea, no problem. I'll let her know"
"Awesome, you're great. I'll see you guy soon, okay? And again, I'm totally sorry it's so last minute!"
"No worreis, we'll see you soon."
So I glance across the kitchen bar and realated the above conversation to Natalie. We both started to wonder aloud about what, why, who, and how come!? As we started rushing to get ready and get our things together I wanted to start looking around for hidden camera's. It seemed like a reality TV show. Last minute meetings, big expensive trainning that no one know's about, managers left out of the loop by corporate.... really, where were the camera's!?
As Natalie and I jogged across the parking lot and rushed the office, we walked in to a completely empty room. No sounds, no people, no lights.... Alright, WHERE ARE THE CAMERAS!!!?!!? I just started laughing. OF COURSE the two girls would be the first one's there! Sure enough, we waited around for another 10 minutes before anyone else showed up, all of which I spent inwardly laughing about how much it felt like a relaity show.
Finally, people came, cars were filled and we were off to follow bossy commands of a GPS to a nearby hotel to be greeted by "You guy's were suppose to be here at 8 this morning!!!" Yes, we found out about it at 10 when corporate called our head manager yelling at him. Thank you, Mr. Teacher, for letting us know.
We quickly found out that it's Florida law to recieve electrial trainning before selling security systems. So we took the day learning how capcitors, insulators, conductors, transformers, diodoes, and the like, worked. We then took a test on it all, took a break, and came back for more. The second part we learned how all sorts of different locks, bolts, barriers, and identifiers worked.
At the end of the day though, it was over. We left the room smelling like dirty men, stale smoke, empty pizza boxes, and cumpled paper. Natalie and I were ready for girl time. I'm not sure what Natalie did while I was on the phone with Christina and Laurie, but I talked with them until my phone died. After Natalie heard I quit talking, she invited me to go swimming with her in the pool near our apartment.
Being in Florida is great. I was swimming under moonlit palm trees on a warm summers night with the sweetest roommate I have ever had and then played water vollyball with a few other sales guys (one from our team, and two from another company) who showed up shortly after we stopped doing laps.
Trainning extends into tomorrow, so Pinnacle Posse Take 2 will happen tomorrow.
After enjoying a warm shower and a pancake breakfast I sat at the table and started studying from the Book of Mormon. About 30 minutes into Helaman I feel my phone vibrate. Odd, I thought, no one ever calls me this early, it's only 10:15. I look to see that my manager, Chad, is calling. A very small 'uh oh' passed through my mind as I flipped open the phone. Another small thought of "don't forget, you sold yourself to you job right now" ran through my mind as I offered a puzzeled hello to my breathless manager.
"Susan! I'm so totally sorry about this, but it's really important. We have mandatory trainning that we were suppose to be at this morning at 8. I know it's totally last minute, but we've gotta be there. Like I said, I know it's unexpected, but we've gotta be there. I know it's last minute but can you be at the office in like 15 minutes? We need to leave ASAP. Also, can you wake Natalie up? I couldn't get a hold of her."
"Yea, no problem. I'll let her know"
"Awesome, you're great. I'll see you guy soon, okay? And again, I'm totally sorry it's so last minute!"
"No worreis, we'll see you soon."
So I glance across the kitchen bar and realated the above conversation to Natalie. We both started to wonder aloud about what, why, who, and how come!? As we started rushing to get ready and get our things together I wanted to start looking around for hidden camera's. It seemed like a reality TV show. Last minute meetings, big expensive trainning that no one know's about, managers left out of the loop by corporate.... really, where were the camera's!?
As Natalie and I jogged across the parking lot and rushed the office, we walked in to a completely empty room. No sounds, no people, no lights.... Alright, WHERE ARE THE CAMERAS!!!?!!? I just started laughing. OF COURSE the two girls would be the first one's there! Sure enough, we waited around for another 10 minutes before anyone else showed up, all of which I spent inwardly laughing about how much it felt like a relaity show.
Finally, people came, cars were filled and we were off to follow bossy commands of a GPS to a nearby hotel to be greeted by "You guy's were suppose to be here at 8 this morning!!!" Yes, we found out about it at 10 when corporate called our head manager yelling at him. Thank you, Mr. Teacher, for letting us know.
We quickly found out that it's Florida law to recieve electrial trainning before selling security systems. So we took the day learning how capcitors, insulators, conductors, transformers, diodoes, and the like, worked. We then took a test on it all, took a break, and came back for more. The second part we learned how all sorts of different locks, bolts, barriers, and identifiers worked.
At the end of the day though, it was over. We left the room smelling like dirty men, stale smoke, empty pizza boxes, and cumpled paper. Natalie and I were ready for girl time. I'm not sure what Natalie did while I was on the phone with Christina and Laurie, but I talked with them until my phone died. After Natalie heard I quit talking, she invited me to go swimming with her in the pool near our apartment.
Being in Florida is great. I was swimming under moonlit palm trees on a warm summers night with the sweetest roommate I have ever had and then played water vollyball with a few other sales guys (one from our team, and two from another company) who showed up shortly after we stopped doing laps.
Trainning extends into tomorrow, so Pinnacle Posse Take 2 will happen tomorrow.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Sister Susan Catherine Denker...
I'M GOING ON A MISSION!!!! I will be serving in the California Carlsbad, Spanish speaking, mission. My area goes from South Anaheim to North San Diego. I report the the MTC on 2 September 2009 and will serve for 18 months.
Everything about it was perfect and just like I imagined how it would be. I had just gotten back from a work function with some of my favorite co-workers. We pulled up to the mail box, I jumped out, ran to the mail box, and there it was. The most beautiful white envelope I've ever seen was sitting in that little mail box with my name 'Sister Susan Catherine Denker' shinning through the thin plastic window.
Right when I opened the mail box I could see another key, and then the envelope. I screamed as I yanked the envelope from the box and jumped up and down with absolute joy!!! I bounced back to the car still jumping up and down while my friends laid on the horn to join in my joy! I ran back to check what was in the larger mail box indicated on the key and found my sales books had arrived.
As I hopped back in the car, and we drove to my apartment, I was elated. I knew that wherever I was going, it was right. It was just Right. I knew I'd be going and doing exactly what the Lord wanted me to do.
As I got back to the apartment I started calling people to let them know that I'd be opening it soon. Then as I had them all on the phone, Dad, Mom, Nancy, Joe, Annie, and Paul, I opened it and it was such a different experience. It was something I had never really imagined doing, but at the same time, had looked forward to for so long. So I shushed everyone, slid my finger between the sealed envelope and my call, and pulled the thin set of papers out from that envelope. I flipped it over to see '....California Carlsbad Mission...'
Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I know that I am going where the Lord wants me to go, and I will become who the Lord wants me to be. I feel like this is the next step, essential and exciting, that is part of a much grander picture.
Everything about it was perfect and just like I imagined how it would be. I had just gotten back from a work function with some of my favorite co-workers. We pulled up to the mail box, I jumped out, ran to the mail box, and there it was. The most beautiful white envelope I've ever seen was sitting in that little mail box with my name 'Sister Susan Catherine Denker' shinning through the thin plastic window.
Right when I opened the mail box I could see another key, and then the envelope. I screamed as I yanked the envelope from the box and jumped up and down with absolute joy!!! I bounced back to the car still jumping up and down while my friends laid on the horn to join in my joy! I ran back to check what was in the larger mail box indicated on the key and found my sales books had arrived.
As I hopped back in the car, and we drove to my apartment, I was elated. I knew that wherever I was going, it was right. It was just Right. I knew I'd be going and doing exactly what the Lord wanted me to do.
As I got back to the apartment I started calling people to let them know that I'd be opening it soon. Then as I had them all on the phone, Dad, Mom, Nancy, Joe, Annie, and Paul, I opened it and it was such a different experience. It was something I had never really imagined doing, but at the same time, had looked forward to for so long. So I shushed everyone, slid my finger between the sealed envelope and my call, and pulled the thin set of papers out from that envelope. I flipped it over to see '....California Carlsbad Mission...'
Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I know that I am going where the Lord wants me to go, and I will become who the Lord wants me to be. I feel like this is the next step, essential and exciting, that is part of a much grander picture.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Rules
These are the basic rules if you want to read my blog:
-Offer constructive criticism when I complain. No feeding my negativity.
-Readers are not allowed to worry. Odds are a situation I write about will sound much more intense than it actually was.
-Be supportive. I need lots of good cheer leaders right now, and I really REALLY need to stay focused on my work and preparing to serve the Lord.
Thank you everyone for your support, encouragement, and love.
-Offer constructive criticism when I complain. No feeding my negativity.
-Readers are not allowed to worry. Odds are a situation I write about will sound much more intense than it actually was.
-Be supportive. I need lots of good cheer leaders right now, and I really REALLY need to stay focused on my work and preparing to serve the Lord.
Thank you everyone for your support, encouragement, and love.
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